Three Dates One Night

I MISS THIS PLACE.

this one is for keeps. sweet and bitter moments I never want to forget.

i'm moving out dears.

much love.

extra curricular and ANC.

We’re not great.
I concede to that but there isn’t much you and I can do.
Sometimes you would call and tell me how much you missed me...
Sometimes I would...
But how many times have we ended the conversation with a proper bye?
Countable. Sadly countable.

Might be growing apart.
Or just another gloomy phase.

Whatever it is, I can’t live this way.

Somehow it’s strange that when we look at the menu, both of us had our hands covering our foreheads, thinking what to order from the list. It’s even stranger when we finally made up our minds, turns out we ordered the same food. Who would have thought that we had the same expression and taste?

It’s a rare find to have a friend who speaks Malay when you barely do with your friends. It’s even rarer when you start using bombastic Malay words when you never knew how to use them before.

Call me jakun...but yesterday must have been the most identical twins I have ever came across my entire 19 years of living on this round earth. Believe me, I stood there for a hour or so spotting the difference..haha you know just like in the magazines where they print two almost identical pictures and you have to..you know what I mean.

It sure was an exciting hour of the day. Instead of going home as planned, I was amazed so I stayed on and starting planning with Imran how the twins can fool the SIFE members that will be on duty tomorrow. Hahaha. We all memang seriously nothing better to do. We sat at the corner of the shop discussing our plan with elly. Ahha. Sangat kelakar.

Hyke the handyman brought his little python to the booth. The python has a body too big for his head. Now I can finally brag (not that I have always wanted to) that I have touched a real live snake. PYTHON. Yea! In your face, Reptiles are not that bad k. no wait, I even kissed it. I have no idea why I did it but I did. God..i need to wash my lips thoroughly.

I realize..,
It’s part of meeting new people. exciting isn’t it?

You must wonder why I didn't tell you about it. Some things I just don't recall until I sit down and flash back what happened during the day. Sorry.

Oh my. Think my two hot celebrity hunks in a gay movie. Set back in the 70s, Brokeback Mountain tells a story of a gay couple. Starring..followed by screaming…JAKE GYLLENHAL(or however you spell his name..wait who cares? He’s cute). Next, please double the screaming…HEATH LEDGER. My dear knight of shining armor is the gay boyfriend. Can’t blame the cowboys man, both are tempting hot. Yes they are.

With this, I must say..GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN. Guys we do have those fantasies like yours too..yeah. Too bad Ang Lee decided to realize ours instead of yours. Boo.

Don’t worry. Catch the next shooting star. It’s not impossible.

I'm just gonna walkaway right now. Don't say anything. Taa.

Those reminders on my wooden mirror do wonders to me, psychologically. I have been constantly reminded that my short term goal for this year is precisely that and that is all I hope for. My side aspirations would be kept to myself. Yesterday mother drop good news, they are sponsoring and prioritizing us.

Never wait till life turns sour. No matter how content you are with your life, always come up with something to make life better. The world is changing and so must we.

Sabah was great. It is nice to get away from the busy city for awhile. Our troubles were left behind and there we were...enjoying the short break. Although we didn’t get to tour around KK..the scenery through the windows of our humble van was enough to put in the picture how beautiful the beaches and blue waters were. It was a splendid sight.

The officiating ceremony went well. Joseph Prairin Kitingan was there. Camme became our spokesperson and I was held responsible to act like a tutor. It went smoothly. I realized I worry too much sometimes it’s not even necessary.

The night before I went through everything that needed to be thought in half an hour, thinking about the kids’ reaction and level of understanding. The next morning, I walked around the hallway of the 6th floor, going through what needed to be said, how to say it, think of the right Malay words. God, I was seriously petrified about the launching event..no room for mistakes. It has to be perfect!

Haha. Told you I was paranoid.

Anyhooo...Good job guys!

Oooh ohh. Sabah has good-looking guys. Think that guy who sold candy to me was super hotness. But he's probably too young. Aza don't kill me.

I just finished downloading Munich. Yes yes!!

Set in the aftermath of the 1972 massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics, Munich tells the dramatic story of the secret Israeli squad assigned to track down and kill 11 Palestinians believed to have planned the 1972 Munich massacre and the personal toll this mission of revenge takes on the team and the man who led it.

Eric Bana stars in this movie. Hell yeah!

Wish I had finish Gideon Spies.

One quiz and one test, I skipped both because this dysmenorrheal is killing me. The pain is awfully piercing my internal walls. I can barely stand up straight. The need to bend my knees and pull them closer to my chest to mitigate the pain is constant. If this continues on for three days, it could be homicidal.

Help. Need painkillers. Desperately.

i think the name "koehler" is so sexy.

07.10 a.m - woke up, got scolded for not praying on time.
07.20 a.m - send sister to school
07.30 a.m - bath and get ready to class
08.00 a.m - where’s yang?
08.10 a.m - oh she’s here.
08.20 a.m - stuck in jam
08.25 a.m - yang cursed like mad
08.28 a.m - aza walked to the car just as we drove entered his row
08.46 a.m - reached uitm, send aza to his fac
08.50 a,m - arrived in class, was late for test.
09.10 a.m - screw the fourth question!!!
09.20 a.m - had a sneak peak of the formulas
09.30 a.m - time’s up. Still stuck at question 4b
09.45 a.m – Prof. Jusoh collected the papers.
09.50 a.m - “there better be a make up test or I’m doom.” Yang uttered.
10.00 a.m - I’m lost where’s class?
10.30 a.m - since when bs06 existed?
10.45 a.m - lecturer came in.
11.10 a.m - if only I could take her home and lecture me to sleep at night.
11.30 a.m - divided into groups for presentation.
12.00 p.m – what the hell this task behavior and relationship behavior?
12.05 p.m – duhh!!
12.15 p.m – went up to do the group presentation.
12.30 p.m – got praised for a good and organized presentation.
12.35 p.m – shariman belum mandi.
12.37 p.m – headed back to subang, “…overwhelm overwhelm..”
01.05 p.m – home sweet home.
01.10 p.m – fish curry, sambal belacan and vege.
01.40 p.m – on the computer.
01.45 p.m – sudoku.
02.01 p.m - yay i passed the medium level!

Pie, Yana. yang and I headed to pyramid to get some serious intellectual look for class. Hahaha. I have always thought glasses were never made to fit my rojak morphology. Long story. I have Chinese, Indian, Arab, looking cousins, the only ancestors I know who happens to be foreign is my late great grandma, she’s malbari(spell?).

Anyway, the trip was sort of wasted because none of us brought the cam-whoring machine along. You should have seen how “FLYYYY” I look when I wear those gigantic shades. I looked like a ninja, camouflaged, all set to rob the mango shop. Well, we did go overboard, earlier the notion was to get funky one day once kind of spectacles.

Of course we managed to find the perfect ones to look extremely nerdish, not-to-be-disturbed and in-my-own-world pair of glasses…..after trying half of the ones displayed. It was splendid. I never knew shopping for glasses could be so much fun.

LOVE POTION is back for a whole month. Omaha! The ice cream flavor I have been waiting for 11 months. Yes, precisely. The bitter heart-shaped dark chocolate with raspberry fillings together with raspberry and vanilla ice cream. LOVE POTION is the Johnny depp. Eating it makes me so happy like the time where Azaa pushed me in a shopping cart. Okay absolutely no link whatsoever.

Never mind. Goodnight! I hope there are fireworks in the skies tonight. I missed last night’s show.

(i didn't get one.)

I was having trouble falling asleep last night so I thought by reading a boring book that I never had a chance to finish would help put my brains to sleep. Apparently NO.

( Gideon Spies )

The CNY lunch at Pn. Leong, our class teacher was noisy. The boys or guys (yea whatever!) never seem to grow out of their high school attitude. Laughing at lame-ass jokes, making fun of people (the same old targets) and saying perverted things every 3 seconds.

I did tell you their hormones are unstable and producing more than they ever need, didn’t I? Imagine them with lab coats and stethoscopes around their necks,

(Trying to picture the situation. Getting it...almost there..erh no.)

Nevertheless, it was great fantastic fun. I wanna wanna meet up again. Bwahahah.

My closet is neat and dandy. And I absolutely luvv opening the wardrobe and adore at the nicely arranged t-shirts and hanged and ironed shirts and folded pants and rolled socks and balled knickers.

I just got a new maid.
Gotcha Gucci yaya.

I hate the glaring sun at times. Especially when my bedroom window is facing the rising sun and every morning bright ray of sunlight shines through the window and alarm my brains to wake up. One positive way to look at the beginning of each day is to thank god for giving you another day to breathe the oxygenated air.

At this age, we always think we will stay young, slim and beautiful till we are half a century old. With the technology we have today, beauty is no longer a gift from god; it’s a luxury item that any filthy rich brats can afford to have. Wait. You don’t necessarily have to be rich; you just need to be a self-absorb human being- one who can’t stop admiring him/herself at the mirror 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 30 days and month and 12 months a year. They virtually harass themselves when they’re alone. Born Reginalds.

So much for pictures doesn’t lie. This era permits anyone to lie about anything. You lie and you get away with it. How convenient is that? You no longer have to try and fit in crowds, you just need a bloody computer with internet access and photoshop skills and walla, and you’re IN baby. You fit in just fine.

It is reality isn’t it? Everything is beyond fake.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?


This song reminds me so much of my childhood days.
The times where I spent the evening riding a bike with my friends.
The times where I spent the evening at the park behind our house playing a kampung game of "selipar"
The times where I bladed around Su-Chien's house.
The times where I saw a huge dog, similiar to Lassie the dog and ran for my life, on blades.
The times where we threw water balloons at each other at my house. I have always aimed for my crush. Haha.
The times we spent watching Urban Legend and the guys were laughing at the scenes while the girls were petrified by it.
The times we played handball(American Handball) using Jack and Peter books and a pingpong ball.
The times we played magic card.
The times where the boys tried to steal a powerful card from a girl. Classic. It's just a damn card, goodness.

I miss my childhood days.

I’m tired. Get off my case. I really am. Slept at 3am yesterday. Early morning received a call from PM again regarding proposal. This time, they don’t see what act we are under and they need to know. Plus the project description isn’t good enough. Half an hour before I was about to leave for class, I rushed to computer, connected to the Internet and tried to get the documents done. Apparently…the Internet failed on me. So I just gave up and went to class. I had a presentation to do and I haven’t even done any research on it yet. Yang was the lifesaver of the day. She asked me a whole load of questions about it and made me understand automatically without reading. Ha! You genius…you know I’d work for a logic to answer each question.

Today was Hakim’s official Wednesday. It seems like everyone goes to Hakim on this day. I met Husni, saw a bunch of familiar faces…by that I mean almost every table had a familiar face. I was in a rush again because En. Hanafi is set for a class at 1pm. A short class. By short he means 5 mins. Lucky if it’s 10mins. Think big, the lecturer is damn flexible he’s crazy. So we were late by 10 mins and when we got there, the class was empty. How nice knowing we could have not missed anything much. Probably anything at all. 10 mins is good enough for hello class and goodbye.

That was the day. Thank god I skipped the seminar but I still have a dinner to attend. Some award dinner for excellent student/society. VC is going to be there, wonder if his wife will be there too. Hehehe.

Before I forget…HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIA AND RENIA!

My birthday was the bomb of the month! Hopefully month because I want the year to be just as awesome! Anyway…here’s a birthday song to me…

Happy birthday to us
Happy boifday to us
Happy burpday to Me and Mischa,
Happy beepday to us!

I share the same birth date as Mischa Barton, know what it means. Yeah I’m as cool as her! Harhar.

The 20th started with a great morning, jogging with the girls, Yang, Bil and Na. We headed to the TTDI park because the park is spectacular I tell you, it is. It has a wonderful lake, a cool jogging trail, loads of benches and over productive monkeys. Yep, most of them carry a baby monkey on their shoulders. Yang was fascinated, obviously, she has monkeys in her room and she’s practically one herself. No worries yang, you’re the cutest nicest monkey I have ever been friends with plus particularly many admirers too. See!

The morning was soo much fun, the whole jogging thing was just a perfect way to start my day as a 19 year old. Bwaahaha. Except for the bad nasi lemak we ate on the bench that attracted thousands of ants to our spot.

So that was the morning. In the afternoon, I had an award ceremony to attend to. Unlike the previous ones I have been too, this time it was merriful. We had 70 students from Actuarial Sc. getting DL so you just imagine how bizarre the crowd was when each of us when up to receive the cert. It was just grand to see all my fantabulous seniors get an award for academic excellence; it felt like a huge honor to be a part of it too. One of my seniors passed his second paper, smart ass. 7 left! I’m inspired. Always am.

The day didn’t end so perfectly, because I had some problems in the evening. I let certain people down as well as myself. I guess I’m not fit to lead yet. I’m still learning and mistakes often occur when in the process of it. It’s just that it sucks that it had to happen at the most crucial time. I even cried because the emotional burden was just so awful. It wasn’t my fault, but if it isn’t..then whose is it?

Tough luck, but at least I learn. Sigh…

Around 11pm, Emer called me and asked me where Aza was because he was missing. He was supposed to be at my house but he wasn’t and he’s not even around the area. They called me to come out because they didn’t have credit to talk about it over the phone, so I bluntly agreed and went out with the baju kurung from morning…

Emer and Fadh was standing at the gate…asking me about Aza this that…when suddenly I noticed someone behind the tree. I approached the tree to find a…

“SURPRISE!!!”

Azaa and the boys surprised me with a huge birthday cake, with lighted candles and sang me a birthday song.

Mereka sangat baik hati. Terima kasih banyak banyak. Saya amat cinta kamu semua tapi Azaa lebihlah.

That evening, I went to have dinner with the guys and Aza. I was supposed to get back by 10pm because my maid was afraid to stay home alone, so I did and Aza followed me home because he wanted to make sure I was okay. The guys were supposed to pick him up from my house but they were late, due to an argument; I just left him outside the house without even bothering to ask him in…

Thanks for a hell of a birthday. Thanks to everyone who messaged me.

And that day didn’t just end there.

He hates my space. He hates it because he wants to be every part of it. I should have known, sometimes I think things are better left unsaid. Why and why would you wanna know something you don’t wanna hear?

A week has gone by since the meet up with Mr Adziz, yet the proposal is still incomplete. Today, I rushed to Menara Millenium in Damansara to see Mr. Amir, the corporate affairs guy. The office looked nice, the waiting lounge was simple and modern, had cool automatic sliding doors and the workplace had a pleasant layourt I digs! The only thing is, the whole office smelled tobacco-ish. Either they keep stocks of ciggarettes in the office or it’s Philip Morris for god’s sake. No joke, I actually thought the air freshener was made to smell of tobacco.

Mr. Amir was really nice. Unlike how he sounded on the phone, gila pushy and all. It was good, he told the situation at hand, how long the proposal will take to process with Chinese New Year on the way and all. He’s gonna put his best efforts to make it happen on the 11th. Hope everything goes well, hope tomorrow’s faxing will be the last. Hmm.

Hmmmm. I'm such a slow learner.